He is the gay one!
by bluecow
Summary: Basically, me training bezthegeek how to write smut. PWP thiefshipping,Yaoi, Smut, don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

Alice: Hi there! Random crack that Erin (bezthegeek -check 'er out~) and I wrote while hyper on marshmellows at 10pm to 1:45am. She wrote a couple sentences, then I did, then she did yadda yadda. Quick tutorial, teaching her to write smut ;)

Random PWP, we own no characters!

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"HE IS THE GAY ONE!" Marik screeched in his own defence.

"We've established this, but who says I'm the only one?" Bakura said, and smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I AM TO SAY IT! FOR MY WORD IS LAW!" Marik announced superiorly.

"Do you need to scream so much?" growled the Brit as he covered his ears to muffle the sound.

"I DO NOT SCREAM! WOMEN IN HORROR MOVIES SCREAM! I SPEAK ASSERTIVELY!" He placed a tanned hand across his chest and looked down his nose at Bakura. Bakura decided he'd call it screaming anyway, although he would have preferred Marik screaming in an entirely different context.

Reluctantly dragging his mind out of the gutter, he turned his attention back to the tanned man before him.

"Could you just not speak? Is that possible for you?" He stated gruffly.

"...you're still the gay one" Marik huffed, folding his arms and pouting slightly.  
>Bakura's mind struggled to think up a clever response from it's current position in the gutter... those lips, man! Geeez!<p>

"Uh... If I wanted a comeback, I'd have wiped it off your mother's face!" Lipslipslipslipslips STUPID BRAIN.

"My Mother's dead!" Shit. Probably a low blow there. Oh well, he'd started this line of retorts, he might as well finish it.

"So's mine, you don't see me bitching about it."  
>"I DON'T BITCH, ONLY GIRL'S BITCH! I MERELY COMPLAIN AND CLAW OUT SOMEONE'S EYE IF I HAVE TO!" Marik stomped his foot on the ground.<em> "<em>You're such an insensitive jerk..."

"Guilty as charged." Bakura said smugly, Marik wasn't expecting that and he certainly looked surprised... oh, wait, that's how his face always looked!

"You're just so... GAH!" He exclaimed infrustration, his expression changing from shocked to livid.

"I've gotten more articulate responses out of my victims... post mortem..." An even more smug look taking over his features.

"Why do you have to be such... such..." Marik shrieked, bordering on hysterics. Okay, maybe not so much bordering.

"Yeeeeeessss?" He stretched out his word and ending it with a high note, to motivate Marik to finish his sentence.

"Such an ASSHOLE!" He said, screwing up his face as he screamed at his partner.

"And you're a dick. Yet you still hang around with me... still trying to convince me you're not gay?"

"I'm not a dick! And I like WOMEN, okay?"

"Fair point, you have to have a dick to be one..."

"I have a dick! A very large one! My penis is GIANT!" He stretched his arms out in ridiculous gestures of sizing and proportion, flailing around like some kind of demented Magikarp.

"Prove it." He crossed his arms and leant back slightly, anticipating every possible reaction, all ending in his favour.

"It was sculpted by the GOD THEMSELVE- wait, what?" His flailing ceased for a moment, his arms dropping to his sides as the shock of Bakura's statement sunk in.

"Sculpted by the Gods you say? As a joke, maybe."__Judging by Marik's face, that definitely ruffled a few feathers.

"BIGGER THAN YOURS!" He yelled in retort.

"Prove it." The simple statement and the accompanying sleazy grin had Marik completely baffled.

Bakura leant forward, barely and inch from the Egyptian's mouth. He could feel the heat from his blush radiating onto his own face as he pulled him closer. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Marik yelled, making Bakura flinch, "I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I'M NOT GAY!"  
>"Ever tried it?" a sly look worked it's way onto the Limey's face. "Besides, why else would you be blushing?"<p>

"Wha-!" He said, practically slapping himself as he felt the tell-tale warmth spreading across his face... and further. "NO! I HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH A MAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE!"  
>"Then...how do you know you won't like it? I can show you~" Bakura sunk slowly onto a nearby couch, pulling the bewildered Marik down with him so he was straddling his lap. Marik blushed even harder.<p>

A surprised grunt came from the back of Marik's throat as a warm, pale pair of lips caught his own. His eyebrows raised high into his golden hair when a sly tongue traced along his bottom lip. He took Bakura by surprise, letting his own slip through as he wrestled for dominance. Bakura let out a small grunt of surprise, fighting back. Well, two can play at that game... Marik let their lips separate as a small whimper forced it's way out when Bakura's hand cupped his crotch softly. Bakura smirked as Marik leant into his touch. Marik leant back in suddenly, crushing their mouths together and running his fingers through the other's wild white hair. The pale hand slipped upwards to brush along the waistband, as if to ask permission. Said permission was granted in the form of a low groan on Marik's part.

Bakura fumbled with his belt, their lips remaining interlocked as he undid the button and fully unzipped his pants tortuously slow. Marik arched up against him, silently begging him to go faster. Bakura grabbed Marik's hips, swinging him around so he was lying sprawled across the lounge. Bakura tugged at his pants, lowering them to his knees and brushing softly against the tent forming in Marik's boxers. His lips were nearly bright white in contrast to the tanned skin of Marik's neck as he kissed, licked, bit and sucked his way downwards. Marik let out a shuddering breath, locking his fingers into the pale boy's hair in encouragement.

Locking his lips onto the pressure point at the junction between Marik's neck and his shoulder, Bakura nipped the skin until it turned bright red, then sucked until satisfied with the resulting mark. Continuing onwards, he let his tongue skim across a dusty pink nipple and smirked into the skin as the body beneath him shivered. Marik closed his eyes and let out a low moan. He heard a slight sloshing sound, and he opened an eye to determine the source. Bakura took a swig from a glass, capturing an ice cube from its depths and holding it between his teeth.

"Where the frig did you get that fro-OH!" His sentence was disrupted when a sudden coldness was pressed against his nipples, the one on the right held in place by Bakura's mouth, the left, by his hand. His mouth trailed the rapidly melting object across all the contours in Marik's heated skin, fresh water mingling with the small amount of sweat beginning to bead. He let out a gasp, ice-cold water dripping across his chest and making him shiver with inticipation. Sucking the remains of the ice cube into his mouth and crunching it between his back teeth, Bakura licked up the drips of cold water slowly running down Marik's toned stomach, leading him to a pair of tanned hip bones which each received a light nibble. Marik bucked his hips upwards to meet him, drawing in a sharp breath.

Bakura's breath ghosted down over Marik's erection before him, he blew over the head, earning himself a needy whine from the Egyptian. With a slow and teasing demeanour, he licked up the underside, then lapped repeatedly at the head, tasting the salty pre-cum that formed as a result. He teased his tongue around its tip, letting his breath tickle at it for a moment longer. He gently prised Marik's legs apart a fraction, giving himself better access. He wrapped his lips firmly around the head and sucked slowly. "Ohh..." A soft sigh escaped Marik's lips, motivating Bakura to go further and take the whole member into his mouth. "Ba-Bakura..." A loud moan escaped his lips as the sucking got harder, faster and a strange, but familiar, heat began to coil in his stomach."Nng-" Marik dug his fingernails into Bakura's scalp, his head rolling back.

Pulling the dripping member almost completely out of his mouth, rolled his tongue around the head, then bobbed back down for a strong suck. He repeated this motion several times,while Marik's moans steadily grew in volume. "Ohh, Bakura... I'm..." Bakura immediately pulled back, his sneakiest thief grin gracing his features. "You can't just- OHH!" As the white hair again pooled in his lap and the warmth and pressure again surrounded his erection, he pulled lightly on Bakura's hair and basically exploded in his mouth. He was able to catch most of the fluids and swallow, but some dripped down his lips onto his chin. Marik's vision was filled with flashing lights and colours as he felt his muscles go slack. Bakura wiped his mouth, breathing heavily. He collapsed on the couch next to Marik, letting his head rest upon his bare chest. He could hear Marik's heart pounding fast and felt his chest heave with every gasping breath.

"So..." said Bakura, breaking the silence. "That was..."

"Wow." murmured Marik.

"Yeah." Bakura gave a mug sideways grin, nuzzling into the tan boy's chest slightly. They sat there for a moment, basking in the afterglow. Marik frowned, looking down at his legs.

"Something's poking into my knee..." Marik said, his voice sly. "Your turn then?" At Marik's comment, Bakura's eyes lit up noticeably.

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Welp, that was our collab,look out for chapter 2~


	2. Chapter 2

Alice: Hello again, this was the original version, with author comments, we cut it out for chapter 1, but left it in for the lol's for this chapter!

**Erin dialogue**

_Alice dialogue_

Normal writing

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"HE IS THE GAY ONE!" Marik screeched in his own defense.

"We've established this, but who says I'm the only one?" Bakura said, and smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I AM TO SAY IT! FOR MY WORD IS LAW!" Marik announced superiorly.

"Do you need to scream so much?" growled the Brit as he covered his ears to muffle the sound.

"I DO NOT SCREAM! WOMEN IN HORROR MOVIES SCREAM! I SPEAK ASSERTIVELY!" He placed a tanned hand across his chest and looked down his nose at Bakura. Bakura decided he'd call it screaming anyway, although he would have preferred Marik screaming in an entirely different context.

Reluctantly dragging his mind out of the gutter, he turned his attention back to the tanned man before him.

"Could you just not speak? Is that possible for you?" He stated gruffly. _ (AND THEN ALICE RUINED THE STORY WHILE ERIN WAS ON HER PHONE, TEXTING HER BOYFRIEND FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY... WHICH IS A REALLY LONG TIME)_ **(Piss off, you're ruining the plot continuity**

**ANYWAY)** _(As if there was any plot to begin with XD) _**(Yes, well, we'll just have to MAKE one then, won't we?)** _(No, we will not, for a good story writes itself and this needs us to write it, so IT IS NOT A GOOD STORY!)_ **(Okay, sheesh, we'll figure it out as we go then. Unknot your panties please, and let us CONTINUE)** _(Ok... as if I'm wearing panties XDDDDD)_

AND THEN THEY HAD SEX _(best story ever~)_

**(I'm just going to pretend those lines never happened and continue where we left off -.-)**

ANYWAY

"You're still the gay one" Marik huffed, folding his arms and pouting slightly.  
>Bakura's mind struggled to think up a clever response from it's current position in the gutter... those lips, man! Geeez!<p>

"Uh... If I wanted a comeback, I'd have wiped it off your mother's face!" Lipslipslipslipslips STUPID BRAIN.

"My Mother's dead!" _(OOOOOOOH~ ANGST!)_ Shit. Probably a low blow there. Oh well, he'd started this line of retorts, he might as well finish it.

"So's mine, you don't see me bitching about it."  
>"I DON'T BITCH, ONLY GIRL'S BITCH! I MERELY COMPLAIN AND CLAW OUT SOMEONE'S EYE IF I HAVE TO!" Marik stomped his foot on the ground. <em>(CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!) "<em>You're such an insensitive jerk..."

"Guilty as charged." Bakura said smugly, Marik wasn't expecting that and he certainly looked surprised... oh, wait, that's how his face always looked! _(AND THEN ERIN SPENDS EVEN MORE OF ETERNITY TEXTING HER BOYFRIEND -.-)_**(What, Bakura and Marik are allowed to have boyfriends and I'm not? -.- Okay, I shall continue)**

" You're just so... GAH!" He exclaimed in _(sexual?) _frustration, his expression changing from shocked to livid.

"I've gotten more articulate responses out of my victims... post mortem..." An even more smug look taking over his features.

"Why do you have to be such... such..." Marik shrieked, bordering on hysterics. Okay, maybe not so much bordering.

"Yeeeeeessss?" He stretched out his word and ending it with a high note, to motivate Marik to finish his sentence.

"Such an ASSHOLE!" He said, screwing up his face as he screamed at his partner. _(HULK __SMASH!) (_**Okay, that was pretty good XD) **

"And you're a dick. Yet you still hang around with me... still trying to convince me you're not gay?"

"I'm not a dick! And I like WOMEN, okay?"

"Fair point, you have to have a dick to be one..." _(kekekeke~)_

"I have a dick! A very large one! My penis is GIANT!" He stretched his arms out in ridiculous gestures of sizing and proportion, flailing around like some kind of demented Magikarp. _(:D)_

"Prove it." He crossed his arms and leant back slightly, anticipating every possible reaction, all ending in his favour.

"It was sculpted by the GOD THEMSELVE- wait, what?" His flailing ceased for a moment, his arms dropping to his sides as the shock of Bakura's statement sunk in.

"Sculpted by the Gods you say? As a joke, maybe." _(GETTING BOOOOORRRREEEEEDDDD! SMUT TIEM! PREASU~? :3) (_**B-but I don't know how to write smut! D: WHAT DO O.o)**_(Hmmm, let me guide you~)_** (Bluh, that was creepy -.- Okay, I'll let you take most of the reigns for that part . ON WITH THE STORY**_**) **_

Bakura leant forward, barely and inch from the Egyptian's mouth. He could feel the heat from his blush radiating onto his own face as he pulled him closer. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Marik yelled, making Bakura flinch, "I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I'M NOT GAY!"  
>"Ever tried it?" a sly look worked it's way onto the Limey's face. "Besides, why else would you be blushing?"<p>

"Wha-!" He said, practically slapping himself as he felt the tell-tale warmth spreading across his face... and further. _(OHOHOHO~)_ "NO! I HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH A MAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE!"  
>"Then...how do you know you won't like it? I can show you~" Bakura sunk slowly onto a nearby couch, pulling the bewildered Marik down with him so he was straddling his lap. Marik blushed even harder. <em>(Marik isn't topping) <em>**(Ohohoho~ is THAT what you think? MARIK TOPS) **_(What were you saying before about letting ME write most of the smut? This is 60% my smut scene, I decided who tops) (_**HELL NO BRO, ASK THE RINBO, HE TOPS) **_(SERIOUSLY, go through the majority of stories.) _**(No way! Rinbo agrees, LK agrees, check the freudian slips and Bakura's innuendoes. Bakura is Tsundere, it's like Haku/Neru, despite first glances, Marik would TOP) **_(Firstly, comparing a Yu-Gi-Oh! Character to a Vocaloid character,I have no idea how to respond, secondly, I have a compromise, follow my lead~) (_**Hmm. Very well then.)**

A surprised grunt came from the back of Marik's throat as a warm, pale pair of lips caught his own. His eyebrows raised high into his golden hair when a sly tongue traced along his bottom lip. He took Bakura by surprise, letting his own slip through as he wrestled for dominance. Bakura let out a small grunt of surprise, fighting back. Well, two can play at that game... Marik let their lips separate as a small whimper forced it's way out when Bakura's hand cupped his crotch softly. Bakura smirked as Marik leant into his touch. Marik leant back in suddenly, crushing their mouths together and running his fingers through the other's wild white hair. The pale hand slipped upwards to brush along the waistband, as if to ask permission. Said permission was granted in the form of a low groan on Marik's part.

Bakura fumbled with his belt, their lips remaining interlocked as he undid the button and fully unzipped his pants tortuously slow. Marik arched up against him, silently begging him to go faster. Bakura grabbed Marik's hips, swinging him around so he was lying sprawled across the lounge. Bakura tugged at his pants, lowering them to his knees and brushing softly against the tent forming in Marik's boxers. His lips were nearly bright white in contrast to the tanned skin of Marik's neck as he kissed, licked, bit and sucked his way downwards. Marik let out a shuddering breath, locking his fingers into the pale boy's hair in encouragement.

Locking his lips onto the pressure point at the junction between Marik's neck and his shoulder, Bakura nipped the skin until it turned bright red, then sucked until satisfied with the resulting mark. Continuing onwards, he let his tongue skim across a dusty pink nipple and smirked into the skin as the body beneath him shivered. Marik closed his eyes and let out a low moan. He heard a slight sloshing sound, and he opened an eye to determine the source. Bakura took a swig from a glass, capturing an ice cube from its depths and holding it between his teeth.

"Where the frig did you get that fro-OH!" His sentence was disrupted when a sudden coldness was pressed against his nipples, the one on the right held in place by Bakura's mouth, the left, by his hand. His mouth trailed the rapidly melting object across all the contours in Marik's heated skin, fresh water mingling with the small amount of sweat beginning to bead. He let out a gasp, ice-cold water dripping across his chest and making him shiver with intici **(…)** pation. Sucking the remains of the ice cube into his mouth and crunching it between his back teeth, Bakura licked up the drips of cold water slowly running down Marik's toned stomach, leading him to a pair of tanned hip bones which each received a light nibble. Marik bucked his hips upwards to meet him, drawing in a sharp breath.

Bakura's breath ghosted down over Marik's erection before him, he blew over the head, earning himself a needy whine from the Egyptian. With a slow and teasing demeanour, he licked up the underside, then lapped repeatedly at the head, tasting the salty pre-cum that formed as a result. He teased his tongue around its tip, letting his breath tickle at it for a moment longer. He gently prised Marik's legs apart a fraction, giving himself better access. He wrapped his lips firmly around the head and sucked slowly. "Ohh..." A soft sigh escaped Marik's lips, motivating Bakura to go further and take the whole member into his mouth. "Ba-Bakura..." A loud moan escaped his lips as the sucking got harder, faster and a strange, but familiar, heat began to coil in his stomach. _(SO TEMPTING TO STEAL LAPTOP HERE AND MAKE BAKURA SEME MARIK'S ASS)_ (**don't you dare) **"Nng-" Marik dug his fingernails into Bakura's scalp, his head rolling back.

Pulling the dripping member almost completely out of his mouth, rolled his tongue around the head, then bobbed back down for a strong suck. He repeated this motion several times,while Marik's moans steadily grew in volume. "Ohh, Bakura... I'm..." Bakura immediately pulled back, his sneakiest thief grin gracing his features. "You can't just- OHH!" As the white hair again pooled in his lap and the warmth and pressure again surrounded his erection, he pulled lightly on Bakura's hair and basically exploded in his mouth. He was able to catch most of the fluids and swallow, but some dripped down his lips onto his chin. Marik's vision was filled with flashing lights and colours as he felt his muscles go slack. Bakura wiped his mouth, breathing heavily. He collapsed on the couch next to Marik, letting his head rest upon his bare chest. He could hear Marik's heart pounding fast and felt his chest heave with every gasping breath.

"So..." said Bakura, breaking the silence. "That was..."

"Wow." murmured Marik.

"Yeah." Bakura gave a mug sideways grin, nuzzling into the tan boy's chest slightly. They sat there for a moment, basking in the afterglow. Marik frowned, looking down at his legs.

"Something's poking into my knee..." Marik said, his voice sly. "Your turn then?" At Marik's comment, Bakura's eyes lit up noticeably.

_(NO DAMN IDEA HOW TO END THIS- GIVING UP, ERIN, ANYTHING YOU WANNA ADD?)_

**(Welp... that was smut, huh?)**


End file.
